Chapter Ten: Success
I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse. —Florence Nightingale
We often look at the lives of people we believe have "made it" without realizing that what we're seeing is the finished product. The polished success story often hides the countless hours of effort, sacrifice, and learning it took to get there. What I've come to understand through observation and conversations with people who have been successful in business, sports, marriage, and life is this: Success is always a process.
For some, it meant staying late at the office or gym, waking up an hour earlier, reading that extra book, seeking out a mentor or coach, and consistently going above and beyond what was required or expected. When I connect the dots across those conversations and analyze the outcomes, my friend Ben's words resonate deeply: "Success is about making one smart decision after another, and most of those decisions depend on the mindset you bring to the table."
But Ben also reminded me of an equally important truth: Failure works the same way. It's often the result of one poor decision after another. He asked me questions that forced me to reflect on my own failures:
- Did you overlook something you should have noticed?
- Did you ignore key details that might have changed the outcome?
- Did you fail to care enough to follow through?
What I realized is that failure isn't a single catastrophic event. More often, it's the result of small missteps that compound over time. But those missteps, while painful, are also the greatest teachers. Every failure contains lessons about what to do differently, where to pay closer attention, and how to adapt.
Recently, I saw a video of a lion sitting under a tree. It looked as though the lion had sought out the tree for shade from the relentless sun. While it sat there, something unbelievable happened—an impala fell from the tree, almost like manna from the sky. The lion stared at the impala in what seemed like utter disbelief, as if it couldn't comprehend its luck. And why would it? Lions don't sit under trees waiting for food to drop from the sky. In their nature, lions hunt—they stalk, they chase, they work for their meals.
It's the same with success. Yes, every now and then, someone will get the luckiest break and have their version of an impala fall from the sky. But for the rest of us, like a lion living in nature, we have to go out and hunt for success. We have to take deliberate steps, fail, learn, and try again—because success isn't an accident, and it certainly isn't guaranteed.
What I've learned is that the road to success and the road to failure often look remarkably similar at first. Success is built on a foundation of small, intentional actions taken consistently over time. It requires attention to detail, persistence, and a willingness to learn from every setback. Failure, on the other hand, often stems from neglecting those same principles.
When I think about the stories of those I admire most, they all follow this universal truth: Success is earned. It's not about luck or waiting for your opportunity to fall into your lap—it's about staying committed to the process.
So when you think about the freedom of success, I encourage you to ask yourself, "Am I taking one smart step after the next, or am I sitting under the tree, waiting for success to fall into my lap?"
The ownership of success lies in your choices, your actions, and your willingness to go out and hunt for it. To reach success, you have to own it! And remember, even if you stumble or fail, each misstep is just another opportunity to learn, grow, and get closer to your goal.
The Inner Battle
Success, to me, has always been a battle fought on the inside. It's a relentless duel between the voices of my past—those broken, cynical echoes—and my authentic voice that knows I can harness the power of the universe for good, including my own greater good. I realized early on while journaling in solitary that the key to success was in feeding the right voice, starving the wrong one. This is the essence of mentally "writing my wrongs."
The negative voice doesn't just disappear; it lurks in the background, waiting for a chance to surface. It's there every time you say you're triggered, reminding you of its presence. But by acknowledging it, I've learned to control it.
Writing My Way Out: The Power of Words
When I first heard the song "I Wrote My Way Out" by Nas, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Aloe Blacc, and Dave East from the play Hamilton, it felt like the universe was speaking directly to me. Indeed, I had written my way out of prison and up into a position where I could help others. My escape wasn't just from the physical confines of incarceration; it was a mental and emotional liberation through the power of ink and paper.
For years I journaled and made notes in the books and articles I had read from authors who had overcome the odds, escaped their own hidden prisons, and found success despite the odds they had faced.
I crafted a new escape plan—one built on three pillars: ideation, activation, and manifestation. I spent hours imagining my new life, down to the smallest details, like the car I would drive and the family dynamics I desired. Next came activation, taking immediate steps to turn my dreams into reality. Finally, through consistent action, I manifested the life I had envisioned. Step by step, I was getting my SHIT together.
Own Your SHIT: A Blueprint for Success
Owning my SHIT has been a guiding principle for my success. It's a reminder to take full responsibility for my journey, broken down as follows:
- Success. Only I can define what success looks like for me, whether as a partner, employee, or entrepreneur. While others can contribute to my success, it's ultimately my responsibility to chart the course.
- Hustle. The drive to pursue my ambitions comes from within. Yes, others can inspire or push me, but I am the one who must get up and go after my goals.
- Intelligence. I am the architect of my mind, responsible for feeding it the knowledge and skills needed to succeed. Recommendations from others are valuable, but it's up to me to apply them.
- Talent. We all have innate talents, but without practice and dedication, they go to waste. Honoring my gifts means continually challenging myself to grow.
Ready for more? How to Be Free unlocks specific, actionable steps to achieve success, build resilience, and embrace joy—tools you can use right now. Order your copy today.